5 Seasons Worth of episodes

The Vampire Diaries

Season 5 episode 11 - "500 Years of Solitude"

Dear Diary,

Once upon a time in a land called 2009 a television show lets called it "The Vampire Diaries" first came to air.

Now this was a dark and hostile time for a vampire in or on television. You see the kingdom of Teen Fandom had already ravished in the years before,  leaving the world, the Internet and it's people weary of blood suckers and their complicated love lives.

But through the Breaking Dawn a beacon of light and amazing eye brows broke through the fake fog and hope in the young adult hot monster franchise was renewed.

With breakneck pacing and compelling twists, an amazing and supernaturally attractive cast, fangtastic writers The Vampire Diaries sucked viewers in and has kept them entertained for 100 hundred bourbon soaked heart reaching bone snapping white oak stake stabbing bewitching episodes.

100 episodes is an important milestone for a television series (one most and many shows never get a chance to enjoy, miss you Pushing Daisies forever) which can be used to move important plots along, kill main characters or blow things up. Many a macguffin or set or actors income has been sacrificed to the 100th episode.

But most of the time these episode are a celebration of the show we love and the fans who have kept it alive and 500 years of solitude as everything you could hope for and would expect from the creators and cast of the Vampire Diaries.

My sister and I have been fans of the Vampire Diaries since its creation. We have watched ever episode, read the books, debated and discussed the important and finer points of plot and character development (Flashback Elijah hair vs Modern day haired Elijah go...) and even used a day of our grand America vacation to travel to Georgia to go to Covington and see when the show is filmed (we never made it past the airport car rental but that is a depressing story that is only known between us, the car rental airport jerks and my therapist) before eventually getting to see the power of Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley and Joseph Morgan at Comic Con.

In short we kind of like and love this show and I just want to take a moment to thank the writers, actors, producers, directors,hair stylists, Craft service people and everyone who has worked so hard to make this amazing show.

Now lets tear the episode to pieces.

-One episode: One Hundred Words-

Katherine. Flash Back. Baby. Nadia. Clear. Stefan. Katherine. Death. Soon.
Elena. Sad. Damon. Sad. Jeremy! Matt! Break Up Breakfast. Drinking. Phone Call.
Shots. Seasons one - five. Drinking. More Drinking. Stefan. Hero Hair.
Leave Matt alone. Nadia. Didn't leave Matt Alone.
Blackmailed. Scandalous Sex. Bye Jeremy's arms.
Damon. Bedside torment.
Volunteered kidnapping. Travelers. Buckets. Blood
Jenna! Uncle John. Elijah!!! Bye Elijah.
Flash back hair. Destiny.
Klaus. Woods. Matt's safe (get it ) Rebekah.
Nadia. Neck snap. Magic lesson. Redemption?
Klaroline. Confession. Hot.
Stefan. Katherine. The End. Forgiveness.
Vicki. RIC!!! Tyler. Gang's here.
Elena. Katherine. Forgiveness.
Unfinished business. Magic.
Doppelgänger hijinxs to ensue.

-Getting busy living or get busy drinking-

500 Years of Solitude takes us on a simple journey - the death, the redemption and/or the damnation of Katherine Piece.

If the show ever had a lynch pin it would be #KatherineFiece therefore it only seems right that her glamorously un-glamorous demise is what brings characters past, present and spined off back to the fold.

While her sins our numerous and horrifically drinking game worthy you cannot imagine the Vampire Diaries without Katherine and Nina Dobrev captivating portrayal and though I saw the end twist coming I'm not disappointed and i'm glad Katherine will get to live another day.

Even before her first flashback appearance she was the reason Damon came back to town and made sure Caroline made it past the second season and made he cure story line worthwhile and Without her (and Julie Plec) we would not have The Originals and Daniel Gillies and Joseph Morgan and Charles Davis every week to observe for historical purposes every week. She also gave us the moonstone and killed Jeremy's arms but lets not talk about that right now.

Through KP's life flashes, Damon's parting visions and the thing that is Bonnie anchor-hood we are presented with a love letter to the show and characters. There is the return of dead and beloved character (RIP ALARIC - I think I miss you most of all) the appearance of old beloved and only kind of dead Characters (Klaus, Beks, Tyler, Caroline's personality) combined with the usual mix of love triangle, angst, action, romance, call backs, plot twists, neck snaps and not getting concerned over the most important plot point that would probably come back to bite you in the butt.

Lessons learnt from the Vampire Diaries #100: Question why the mysterious witch tourists want a bucket of your blood. It cannot be good.

-Right Place, Right Time, Right Body-

- While the battle between Delena and Stefena fans will reign eternally out living us all this new twist is going to do much to breath life and freshness into what is becoming a stale premise. After all the torment Damon put Katherine through on her deathbed and the hearts she draws around Stefan's name I don't think Katherine is going to reconcile with the eldest Salvatore the way Elena was just planning to anytime soon (You may get away with taunting the deaths of all her relatives but brandish fake Elijah Mikelson in front of a girl and you sir deserve the befuddlement about to befall you)

- The crying points: Katherine as her child is taken away, Katherine talking with her daughter now, When Stefan helps give Katherine Peace, The Salvatore heart to heart, RIC!!! Always R

- "Hes talking about me isn't he"

- "Put the pillow down Damon"

-"I'll save it for the funeral we probably wont have for you"

- Klaus and Caroline win all the points, ever there are no more points to give because they have them all. Why is Klaus not allowed to kiss more people.

- Where were Jeremy's arms. We are simple people with simple needs.

- I like to imagine Enzo is off somewhere just narrating things.

- Its been 100 hundred episodes can we please stop hurting Matt.

Till next time diary,

Cheers xx

You should have bought a squirrel

The Vampire Diaries

Season 4 episode 11 – “Catch me if you can”

Dear Diary,

A vampire, a hunter and a Quarterback walk into a bar. They are greeted by a hybrid who has just killed every single person in the bar and is waiting for them to transition. The Hunter is shocked and appalled, as is his friend the quarterback. The vampire however is very non-plus about the whole thing he’s all “rah rah it’s the only way rah rah I want to sleep with your sister again rah”

The hybrid tells them that the hunter is to kill all the new vampires to complete the magic marker etching on his arm.

The hunter goes “this is a cure must be a really big deal for you?”

The hybrid rallies back “Not really, you should see me when something important is at stake!”

Hello, hello is this thing on. Ok, I might just compel you to forget that. You’re on vervain. I thought everyone had run out...........

WELCOME to season 4 episodes 11 of The Vampire Diaries, entitled “Catch me if you can.”

The Original Status: Was a movie, than a musical now it’s the name of this episode.

We open in the same situation we were in last week, like if there was a seven day break in between but nobody moved. Mystic Falls time, am I right?

What follows is a completely and fully compelling hour of television that leaves you wishing you had a Tardis on hand to whisk you onto the next instalment to find out what happens next (I lost my Tardis somewhere around the Triassic period, don’t tell my mother she doesn’t know I prefer it stay that way.)    

It’s a race!

Competition can be a good thing. It makes you work faster, push harder but it can also be dangerous. The movie Rat Race (from which this recap gets its name I thank you) while being very, very funny also highlights what people are willing to do when an unknown power offers them something they really, really, really want, while never questioning why they were given the opportunity in the first place. In the movie’s case it was John Cleese and a million dollars, in the case of the Vampire Diaries, it’s a crazy vampire-hating brotherhood and the possibility of a cure for what ails some of them.

There are three four teams currently in the race for the cure- Team “we are doing this for Elena,” Team “we hate our brothers,” Team “the boss is crazy, but he has his reasons,” and the newest runner Team “we make our minions bite out their own tongues than die.”

Every single one of them has their reasons and they are willing to do anything to get it.

The idea of the cure for vampirism has been dominating the lives of our Scrappy Gang since the season premiere (Bonnie went to the spirit world remember) and has reached such a fever pitch that nothing else matters to each group except getting it before someone else, so they can control its use. Even the moral compass of the show is willing to go to the extremes to get the magic spell (or drink or lotion- what is the cure even, can they share it, do they get a choice once it’s out in the open, why should they trust a the cure devised by a bunch of people designed to wipe out vampires? no-one asks these questions.)

A terrible, very not good, but it might work idea

A season back there was the question thrown around would, destroying an original vampire be worth killing the thousands of potentially innocent vampires like Caroline or “Stefan.” Was taking out the many worth it to save the lives of the few vampires they knew. At the time the answer was no (many because they didn’t know who belonged to what bloodline but still) this just a hop, skip and a car crash and sire bond later and suddenly the 1/5 of the world’s vampire population’s got to go.

This is a really fascinating and dark turn for Elena, that I love and I hope they address. Elena who has received a lot of (and often well-deserved) flack for her decisions and choices throughout the series run but in one pronouncement our lady of compassion has just decided to take out an entire line of vampires to save a few people, get a cure that she never really stated out right that she actually wanted and get her boyfriend back.

This show!

We’re the Mystic Falls police force. We don’t need jurisdiction.

Across town this episode in the land of equal poor decision making, Bonnie, who we learnt was very much under the thrall of Professor Shane, was also making a turn towards the dark side.

We know Shane is crazy, April and Rebekah know Shane is crazy and now the Mystic Falls high council know he’s crazy and they are not too happy about it. Does he know how long it took them to put their secret vampire-covering up club together, a really long time.

Bonnie, who put a lot of trust into a guy who drugs her with magic tea and gives her human bone as a present is unhappy to learn that he has not been giving her the full 411 on how dangerous her magic can be and is even more upset to learn that he killed a whole bunch of people.

This is when “Dark-Willow” Bonnie kicks in and it is scary and awesome.

What Stefan looks like when he doesn’t look like usually looks like to us

Other stuff that happened:

- “You don’t know what I look like when I’m not in love with you” may be the single greatest line ever. Sassy un-ripper Stefan was a delight to behold over the hour. He was snarky, he was sexy, he was angry, he was hurt, he was sexy.
-Stefakeh, Rebfan, Stebekah. Any other suggestions?
-All my nightmares start with Matt running through the woods and nearly being killed by a vampire so the first few seconds of this episode were not a good time for me.
-I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don’t want them to kill Kol. He is just doesn’t want a monstrous man-witch unleashed on earth is that so wrong. As I stated before everyone is so wrapped up in finding the cure that they haven’t every thought of checking whether Kol is right about the danger of Silas. Dark, evil Bonnie is fun but has she every question or pushed harder to get Shane to open up why he wants this tomb unearthed. It’s all well and good to be human again but if Silas is as bad as he seems, maybe a few of them may want to reconsider staying immortal for a bit longer. Plus Kol used zeal in a sentence, don’t kill him.
-The most unintentionally hilarious thing ever- Damon running after Jeremy in the tunnels shouting that he was compelled and was going to kill him.

That is it for episode 11.  Until next time: Who was the behind the mystery team – Elijah, Katherine or Eric Northman? Will Kol make it to the spin-off series? What happened to Jeremy’s white tank top? These are important things we need to know!

Stay safe in the Gilbert house my friends ‘til we meet again or until a vampire compels us to think that we saw each other but we really didn't,

XOXOX

Hannie Bee 

Don't you forget about me

The Vampire Diaries
Season 4 episode 10 - "After School Special"

Dear Diary,

Carol Lockwood was dead to begin with.

In a swell of blood and violence and ironic, well chosen Christmas music, she left this world, free to play the mum of a different character on another supernatural show ( Teen Wolf forever!!) and once again, like many times before (see seasons 1 to 3) we are left with a void in Mystic Falls adulthood-dom.

If there ever needed to be a public service announcement in Mystic Falls, and really there should be many, it would have to be that in The Vampire Diaries: No parent is safe.

On that note, welcome Bonnie's Dad. We'll miss you.

Episode 10 opens in the midst of a memorial service for the late and great Mayor. There are candles, there are extras, and everyone’s sad but also grateful that there is no need to hold an election after this thing, because that's just how they roll.

But what is this, an intruder, at the Mystic Falls High school gym, someone call the guards. Yeah, I know there are no guards J but still there is an intruder, her name is Rebekah. She is displeased.

She’s also a gossip, two things that when put together are the touchstone of a truly phenomenon episode of television.

Not since the Breakfast club or any other teen drams that tried to emulate moments from the Breakfast Club, has so much heartbreaking, soul crushing honesty be sprouted within the walls of a school library. Though instead of a dance montage for our main characters, we have life or death chase scenes, water boarding and bone breaking werewolf shifting, but it’s kind of the same thing.

Magic daggers get pulled out all the time the world is an imperfect place

A lot had happened in Mystic Falls since Beks was unceremoniously put on hiatus by Stefan and Klaus all the way back in episode four, a simpler but sadder time, where Jeremy Gilbert’s arms were not needed as a part of the shows story main arc (a sad, sad time indeed.)  

Planning to play catch up Rebekah, used her new minion ally April, lured Elena away from the Mayor’s vigil and snapped herself right back into the thick of things (I think Connor would have appreciated that)

If your team Stelena I’d recommended skipping forward a few paragraphs because what goes down between the young Miss Gilbert and her first Salvatore suitor, is not pretty in pink, or any other colour.

Rebekah’s plan is a simple one, compel and destroy. And that she does.

Poor, poor Stefan, guess Katherine turning you and your brother into creatures of the night is not looking like to worst way to end a love triangle now.

That being said everything Elena was compelled to reveal about her feelings for the Vampchester brothers, no matter how brutal, was understandable. Damon made her feel alive where Stefan acts like maybe she was better off having stayed dead. She still loved Stefan but was in love with Damon.

That’s cool I get it, love, choices, yadda yadda but having to hear that the love of your life (who you were prepared to sacrifice your immortality for, as Rebekah kindly shared) and your brother (who you did sacrifice your freedom and succumbed to your worst self to save) were happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be, sire bond or not, would be utterly devastating.

Every single beat of these moments between Elena and Stefan was played beautifully by Nina Dobrev and Paul Wesley. The heartbreak, the anger, the confessions, from Elena’s love declaration to Stefan’s wish to forget he ever met her, were masterfully portrayed and made the scenes in the library more than just exposition.

Vampires move pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, they will eat you

Ok in other news, Jeremy’s arms. Ok, Matt’s arms. Jeremy arms, Matt’s arms, are we sure that this wasn’t actually the Christmas episode?

The Gilbert’s lake house was only a slightly less depressing place to be this episode.

Damon was still struggling with the “sire bond” in the room, listening to a saved phone message from Elena over and over again, taking the high road to growing Jeremy’s hunter’s mark rather than Klaus’s suggestion of murder and mayhem.

But that all quickly went out the Pizza girl’s car window. Following Elena’s confession of love (which was wonderful, how amazing is Ian Somerhalder’s face, honestly when he looked up at sky so happy I lost it) the eldest Salvatore suddenly found himself back on the dark side of the force once again.

Now is the sire bond a bad thing, YES, it’s very bad, go away, but if you have been holding out for it to become an interesting part of the show’s main story I think we are nearly there.

Elena has always been a big supporter of free will and while she claims to be ok with staying under the sire spell if that means being with Damon, how is she going to feel if Damon abuses the sire bond connection and orders her to be ok with the deaths of a bar full of citizens and putting her brother and one of her best friend’s in grave danger?

That’s all folks, just one last thing: The Originals Spinoff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m slightly excited.

Thank you for reading and hope you’ll join me again next week for episode 11: “Catch me if you can: the continuing tale of Jeremy Gilbert's biceps”

Remember we're all pretty bizarre. Some of just have the ability to compel you into forgetting it better, that’s all.

XOXO,

Hannie Bee