Don't say yes until I finish talking

The Vampire Diaries

Season 3 episode 14 – “Dangerous Liaisons”

Dear Diary,  

What a lovely night, a finer night you know you'll never see.

Bloodied champagne flowed, hearts were broken, so were hands, ancient evils conspired to destroy the family that they had broken all the laws of nature, physics and Murphy to grant immorality, boys wore tuxedos, girls were taffeta, hybrids drew really, really fast and no permanent deaths.

Wahoo, take that Mystic Falls morality rate, nobody stayed dead at this town event.

In "Dangerous Liaisons" we were all cordially invited to the Mikaelson family's "annual" (when Klaus hasn't got us trapped in coffins) ball and while we may have been excited to attend, I'm pretty sure I could name a number of guests who wished they'd never received the invite.

The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.

  After having not been asked by any of her love interests to the dinner of a thousand and one twists, the murder and resurrection of her roommate and the town's only teacher, an early evening attack from a vengeful Rebekah and a heroic rescue from the one and only Elijah (he's lasted more than one episode so far, think positively) you'd think Elena would be entitled to a nap but no. There is no rest however for the doppelganger of the wicked. The returning Mama original, who had previously spent the early episodes of season 3 trying to kill her via ghost Vicki, expects Elena to get all dressed up in one of her readily available ball gowns, come all the way to the Original Manor a few streets over, give up her blood for a magical spell, all while giving her the time to royally screw over at least six of her boyfriends. Some people!

I know some critics and fans give Elena a bad rap, but I have never had a real problem with her.

Sometimes she makes the wrong decision (miss you Jeremy) but on other occasions, for example the times when she openly admitted that she never wanted to be a vampire or took matters into her own hands, like calling Elijah’s bluff in season 2, she has shown a strength and sense of character a lot of fictional heroines miss. So it is with a heavy heart and font that I’ll admit that I spent the majority of the episode wanting to smack her on the back of the head and shout what are you doing?   

Danger Will Robinson, beware thousand year blonde witches that are promising to end all your problems tax free.

At least ask what she wants your blood for before offering it freely. Between the spell that tied the original sibling’s fate together and the threat to Matt’s safety sprinkled throughout, I didn’t know if I was going to make it to the end of the episode at one point.

 Line Dancing

Yes, after promising sunshine and puppy dogs last week who was surprised that Mama original was not quite sincere about her offer of forgiveness. Nobody?

Yes, the witchy creator of the vampiric race was not too happy with her children.

She knew when they were sleeping, and what they did when they were awake. She knew that they were more bad, than good. Why? Because of all the murder, and stripping of free will and destruction of private property for goodness sake.

Her plan was a simple one for having spent a thousand years to think about it.Using Elena's blood (remember Petrova blood was used to create the originals cause Klaus and Elijah couldn't learn to share) she would link her sort of killable children with her unkillable one, so that when one died they all would.

With eldest son Finn aboard, it's a pretty solid plan considering this is Mystic Falls, the land of bad plans.Though I have a feeling not all her children will be to happy with her, but I'm sure it will all be cool. 

None of the Originals have uncontrollable rage issues right?

It’s not a bad plan though. I bet Buffy would have loved a “kill one, kill them all spell” like this.

That being said, they kill off Elijah, I will pout severely. You have been warned.

Kol can go. He hurt Matt. We shall never be friends. 

Once more around the dance floor:

-We shouldn't be shipping Klaus and Caroline right? That's wrong? That’s not a good thing? Help.

-The land of love triangles is never a happy place is it.When she wasn’t signing the fates of the world’s oldest vampire family, Elena was breaking the hearts of Delena shippers everywhere. Between having his neck snapped by his younger brother/love rival and Elena’s dismissal of his love declaration Damon finally snapped and before our eyes, he and his magnificence eyebrows transformed back into awesomely savvy and sexy season 1 Damon. It was glorious. Sir, you have been missed.

-Elena and Stefan once again had the same conversation they have been having all season: 

Stefan: I don't care. I eat people. Your feelings me nothing to me.
Elena: But I love you.
Stefan: I left town without leaving a note so obviously you must be super mad at me still despite that being the opposite of everything you've said since the beginning of season.
Elena: But I love you so much, even if you spent week’s literally tearing people into pieces and threatened to turn me into a vampire on the exact spot my parents died.
Stefan: Not even a thing to me madam. Good day.
Elena: Stefan. Stefan. Stefan.
Stefan: I said good day.

-Of course Matt could accidently charm a vampiric mean girl into postponing his murder by giving her his jacket.

-The formal wear and events businesses must make a killing in Mystic Falls.

Elena entered the party escorted on the arm of both Salvatore brothers. How to sum up a show's initial premise in 30 seconds of screen time or less.  

-Rebecca is a great character. She goes from ancient evil to high school girl looking for affection with ease.

-The introduction of the rest of the Originals was seamless. It never felt like they were imposing or didn’t fit into this already very well-established and character filled world. For characters we have just met to be able to carry a large portion of the episode is a testament to the skill of the writers and actors.

-I think they should find more excuses to wear tuxedos. That is all.

That is all for this “Dangerous Liaisons.”

Until next episode maybe if everyone concentrates really, really hard and we find a couple of hundred shooting stars to wish upon, we can make it so Elijah didn’t actually drink the magic blood champagne of death (I may be in denial, I’ll work on it.) 

I hope you saved the last dance for me,

Hanniebee